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Tony Abbott Is Following Me!

August 19, 2014

As some of you may know, and others may have guessed, I have returned to Scotland for the culmination of the independence referendum campaign. I arrived last week. It has of course taken me a little time to get myself organised, get internet access, etc. Now I don’t normally pay a great deal of attention to the movements of the man who currently seeems to be attempting to give Billy Hughes a run for his money as the most incompetent Prime Minister in Australian political history. I had no idea he was planning a trip to what his ilk once like to refer to as ‘The Mother Country.’ Imagine my surprise, nay shock, at seeing his grinning idiot head pop up on the BBC, making ignorant, ill-informed comments about my home country and our campaign for independence.

Well, I have to tell you Scotland, this man is a 24 carat imbecile. He is so conservative that it probably falls outwith the definition of that word, and ‘reactionary’ would be a better one to use. As I’ve said before, although I could by no stretch of the imagination be called conservative, to be a philosophical conservative is a respectable position. I have friends who take that position and we get along just fine. The Australian ones will, I know, entirely agree with my assessment of Abbott, the man we call ‘Ten Watt Tony.’


This is a man who has been busily inflicting grievous political and economic damage on his own country since his election last year. Now he has literally followed me home and started spouting nonsense about someone else’s! I have written at length on the subject of Tony Abbott already, last year, before he was elected. In particular, in relation to his reactionary outlook and politics, the matter of his alleged misogyny. You can read all about that, and the events which led up to it, in ‘MISOGYNY, THE MAD MONK AND THE MEDIA‘ and I highly recommend that interested readers inform themselves of the character of this odious man by familiarising themselves with these events. The blog contains a link to a fifteen minute speech to the Australian parliament by then Prime Minister Julia Gillard. It’s a corker! You may have seen all or part of it before, as it famously ‘went viral’ around the world at the time. If you don’t have time to read it, let me just say that, having first identified a proper definition of the term, on all available evidence I had to conclude that he was indeed a misogynist.

That is far from the end of it though. He is doing so badly as Australian PM for a number of reasons, not just because he is a misogynist, but because of his reactionary position on a panoply of social issues. Same sex marriage – he’s against it. Refugees – he’s against them too. You name it, he’s against it. And to cap it all, his economic policies are right out of the Margaret Thatcher playbook. He and his radical right wing Treasurer Joe Hockey passed an austerity budget this year that Cameron and Osborne would be proud of. Now I have written before, and probably will do again, about exactly why austerity is not only cruel and hard-hearted towards the most vulnerable members of society, it is actually cruelty for its own sake because austerity does not, indeed cannot, work. You simply can’t cut your way out of a recession. Political memories seem to be distressingly short these days, so if you want further detail on why this is the case, look at the history of the 1930s, and how the world began to recover from the Great Depression. Austerity was tried. It didn’t work. A whole new school of economics had to be invented to fix it. That school is known as ‘Keynesianism,’ after its originator John Maynard Keynes. His ‘General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money’ (1935) formed the intellectual basis of the policies which ultimately led to recovery at that time.

All of this is every bit as much lost on Abbott as it apparently is on Cameron and Co. They have learned nothing from history and so are doomed, as the axiom goes, to repeat its mistakes. Of course, in Cameron’s case, I believe he is probably well aware of this, but knows that the likes of him and his friends in big business can make money out of other people’s misery. Abbott, on the other hand, I am convinced, doesn’t understand nuthin’ about nuthin’ and merely parrots the right wing ideas of others. Australians started to wake up to this the day after he was elected. Actually that’s a little unfair. Many Australians were well aware of it long before that election, but not sufficient numbers to prevent that particular national catastrophe. They are now though. They are currently experiencing the worst case of political buyer’s remorse in Australian history. His poll numbers are absolutely dreadful. What has become abundantly clear is that he had a plan, albeit a crude and juvenile one that mostly consisted of name calling and abuse, to gain power, but absolutely no idea what to do with it when he got it.


People of Scotland, please understand that this fool does not speak for the vast majority of Australians, who are either indifferent, or in most cases warmly supportive, of Scottish independence. I know this because as I said, I only just came from there last week. Many Australians have Scottish heritage in their own backgrounds. I encountered nothing but warmth for Scotland and her people while I was there. You may very occasionally be called a ‘Pommy [expletive deleted]’ but a brief explanation invariably leads to an apology and an expression of sympathy and solidarity.

So please do not make the mistake of thinking that Tony Abbott speaks for anyone but himself when he seeks to curry favour with Cameron and the Tories. He is himself a Tory of the worst kind, social as well as economic, and in many ways worse and more extreme than Cameron himself. The supreme irony is, of course, that despite his eagerness to please, we in these islands know that he is not a part of, and can never join, the English establishment. In their eyes he is just one more upstart colonial. He is not a member of their social class. He failed, being brought up in the wrong country, to attend the right schools. He was educated by the Jesuits, making him the wrong religion too. Even his reintroduction of an archaic imperial honours system abandoned by Australia in the 1970s was ham-fisted, embarrassing the monarch. He announced that both the outgoing and incoming Governors General were to become, respectively, a Dame and a Knight and that the letters patent had been issued by the Queen. Only they had not. The palace, it seems, learned of it in the news along with the rest of us. The Queen was not amused.

Every other Australian political leader it seems has denounced his comments. The number of people in Australia who would be prepared to take anything he says seriously is small, and diminishing by the day. They know just how much of a clown he really is. They don’t listen to him, and nor should you. When Scotland gains her independence Australia will be a friend and ally, of that I have no doubt. So let’s look forward to that new, adult relationship, and forget about the ridiculous comments of a political throwback seeking to suck up to an establishment he is too stupid to understand that he can never join, and will never see him as anything more than a useful idiot.



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  1. He is just another irrelevant voice reading from the Tory script one minute they had Putin telling us and the next. Cameron was calling him every name under the sun we have had Obama reading the same crap and the outgoing Barrosso or whatever he is called and over 200 hasbeen celebs who don’t even live in Scotland so he is just another insignificant fool who knows nothing about why we want independence

  2. Good one Derek. Well written and well said as ever. Welcome back!

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